Monday, June 1, 2009


Although I cannot see you,
I still know your are there.
You are warm and snug inside me,
and require gentle care.

Although I cannot hold you,
or give you a hug goodnight.
I feel you move inside me
and know that you are alright.

Although I cannot kiss you,
or show you how I feel.
I know you share my feelings
and that our bond is real. are with me all the time
and always on my mind.
Already I have fallen in love
with my precious gift from up above.

I have been feeling good about my decision to continue the pregnancy. I am going to enjoy the rest of my pregnancy and try really hard not to focus on all the negative things that may/may not happen. I don't have any appointments scheduled and I don't plan to schedule any new ones until the end of June. I think this will give me almost a month to really enjoy being pregnant and to focus all of my attention on Hope. I don't want to think about her heart problems or the future...I just want to concentrate on feeling her inside of me and telling her how much I love her every single day. I want to focus on Jerry and Paul and give them the attention they deserve and let them know every day how much I love them and how much they mean to me. I feel like I have spent the last few months upset and worried about everything with this pregnancy and the possibilities Hope may face and not enough time on the positives of being pregnant and the joy of carrying a life.

Jerry and I have been getting along a lot better and spending more 'couple time' together. It is hard with the boys, but we are trying to make time for each other alone to just enjoy each others' company. I know we are both growing from this experience and even though it has been hard, we are going to make it through this stronger and more focused on our family.

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