20 Months and Looking Back

Today Hope turns 20 months old.  What a wonderfully perfect day!  She is amazing and such a sweet wonderful miracle.  2 years ago today I learned that Hope would be born with Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome.  I wrote this post and it was my very first post ever.  I never thought we would be where we are today.  I cannot even begin to describe how I feel about that time.  It was painful and something I would not wish on anyone.  I remember many discussions about terminating my pregnancy, how difficult life would be, how she might not survive, how even if she survived she would have to undergo countless medical procedures and what kind of life would that be for her and our family.  I think back to so many comments that were made and at times I get angry.  I get angry at the people that make the comments and at myself.  Now that we have gone through so much the self-anger is because I just didn't know.  I know ignorance is bliss and not an excuse.  I know that I should have spent a whole lot more time with positive people and not listen to the negative.  I wish I had enjoyed my pregnancy more with Hope.  I do have regrets, but I know that everything we went through was for a reason. 

OK...off of that for a while.  Hope is doing amazing.  She is walking everywhere and I can hardly get her to sit down.  I am hoping she will reach 17 pounds pretty soon because I really need her to be 18 pounds by our appointment on the 1st of August.