Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Ughh...another slide backwards...9.90

This is pretty bad and I don't think we will get away from another visit downtown.  I know Hope had the stomach bug...we all had it and spent at least 2 days throwing up.  It just really upsets me that she went down in weight again this time.  In a month, she has lost .25 kilograms.  That is 8.82 ounces or 1/2 a a month.  It may not sound like a lot, but it is a big weight loss for someone that only weighs 22 pounds...especially when that little person should weigh almost 30 pounds.  It also depresses me because we try so hard to make sure she eats as much as possible...and then pray that she won't throw it up.  I get so depressed when we have to go for weight checks and it seems that it just gets worse and not better.  It feels like doing my best as a mom is not good enough for my daughter...can you even imagine how bad that makes me feel?  I just don't know what to do anymore and that makes it so much harder.  We do everything we are told to do...short of a g-tube, which is something I really don't want to do.  I also don't want to feel forced into doing something like that either.  I really want Hope to gain weight and be healthy and happy.  I want that more than anything.  I don't want her to have a heart defect or a kidney problem.  I don't want her to get sick and throw up anymore.  I am sliding downhill myself and I really need something to pick me up.  I don't know what I need, but I know that I can't be depressed and worried about Hope's weight forever. 

I am going to end this post because it is depressing.  I am hoping my next post will be a super-happy post with a big weight gain.

Friday, February 24, 2012

You've Got To Be Kidding Me

Yes...shortly after the last update (yesterday to be exact), Hope came down with the stomach bug.  Ughhhh...I don't know why it always has to be the stomach bug.  I hate that she has to go through this...throwing up is the worse.  And...yes, I decided to get it at 2:30 am.  It has been a very long time since I have thrown up.  I feel awful today and I just want to lay around.  I really can't believe we are going through this again.  Please pray that it only lasts 24 hours.  The last stomach bug Hope caught lasted 8 days and she lost 1/2 a pound.  I don't think I will be able to handle the weigh-in on Wednesday if it lasts that long. 

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Blog Slacker

Yes...she is still small enough to take baths in the kitchen sink.  She could probably spend the day in there...she loves water!
I know it has been a while and I try to update after Hope's weight check.  Her weight check last week sucked...she is back to 10 kg...which is a loss of .15.  It was totally unexpected and I spent a lot of time being really depressed and upset about the weight loss.  I hate that she lost weight and I hate even more that I don't know why.  She seemed to do so good and it always worries me that something might be wrong with her heart or her kidneys.  Her cardiologist doesn't think it is anything to worry about, but I always worry anyway.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Heart Month and 10.15

It is the 1st day of Heart Month and I am so excited that CHDs may actually get some attention this month.  I know we heart families are doing everything possible to make sure we raise awareness.  I am planning to 'pin' Hope's story on Pinterest for Faces of CHD.  I have never been on Pinterest, but I am excited that we are able to share our stories and our kids with as many people as possible.

Any heart families that have not 'pinned' please go HERE and follow the instructions from Stef's blog "When Life Hands You A Broken Heart".

A little weight update...Hope is up again!!!  Not as much as last time, but still pretty good.  She is up .15 grams which is right where she needs to be to keep us from another cardiology and dietitian appointment.  For the non-kilo folks...that is 22 pounds 6.03 ounces.  That is an increase of almost 6 ounces in two weeks.  She is doing so good.  Yeah...we don't much like having to drive to the Clinic and prefer to drive up the street to Medina Hospital and say 'hi' to the nice nurses and Dr. Preminger.

Another great fundraiser for CHDs is visiting Build A Bear during the month of February.  While there, please be sure to make a donation to The Children's Heart Foundation.  Click HERE for more details.

Finally...I will be changing my facebook picture as often as possible to show the different ways CHDs have affected Hope and our family.  I know people don't like seeing pictures of Hope after her surgery, but I truly believe that is part of her life.  It is something she has been through and will go through one more time.

I will try and post a little more often this month to keep up with the awareness!