Thursday, September 10, 2009

Another Day of Observation seems that my fluid is lower today than it was yesterday (yesterday 6.7, today 5.4), which is not good news. I will be here for another night and probably until Hope is born. I think I got a total of 2 hours of sleep last night, so I am not looking forward to a long stay here. The bed is super uncomfortable and every time I move, the monitor comes off and then the nurse has to come in and move it around.

I have another ultrasound in the morning and if the fluid is lower than it was today, Dr. Silber will schedule the induction for later tomorrow or Saturday morning. The fear they have is that if the fluid gets too low, she will have a hard time moving around and may end up on her cord and that would mean she could pass away before she is even born...and I don't want that to happen.

I am still hoping for more fluid, but Dr. Silber feels that even if she does increase her fluid, it would still be best for me to be in the hospital being monitored until Hope is ready to be born. I am not at all prepared for Hope to be born, but I have a feeling I will never be prepared for her to be born. I am so scared about the delivery and even more nervous about how sick she might be when she is born. I have been alone a lot today and have spent most of the day crying. I can't seem to stop and I know that I need to try and stay positive. I have spent so much time praying and I know that God will answer my prayers in the best way he knows how.

I will update more tomorrow after the ultrasound. I am praying that her heartrate stays up through the night and that I can get a little sleep.


  1. Paula,

    I sent a reply to your email, it bounced back as not delivered and I emailed it again. Hopefully it will come through. You will be in my thoughts and prayers! I hope the email arrives to your inbox.

  2. Paula,

    I am so sorry that this had to happen because I know you were really preparing yourself for the 21st and not a day before. I could only imagine what you are feeling.
    Having to stay in the hospital is horrible and I am so sorry that you are alone at the moment because that just makes things even worse. Try hard to get some rest, you will both need it. I am sure the doctors will not let you down and she will be here alive. I know she is going to be faced with so many challenges but I know that God will guide you both. I have said it before that God will only give us only what we can handle. I know you have the inner strength to get through this. Wishing you all the best. I am praying so hard that all goes well for you.

    Big hugs just for you!

  3. Paula,
    I am so sad that I did not make it out - not that it would do much good. I love you so much and wish I could make this easier for you - I will be there tomorrow - if that's okay with you and Jerry. If you don't mind I miss you and have been praying for you all day - because I was afraid that you'd be there most of the day alone - I love you and if you don't mind I would like to see you - I would understand though if you and Jerry would like some time too - I will also gladly take the boys and give you and Jerry some time alone - if that would be more helpful. Just let me know what is best for you and your family - Hugs and kisses - love and prayers to you and Jerry and the boys and Hope!!