I am actually kind of excited because I get a bunch of visitors today. Jerry is bringing the boys and his mom and dad will also be up to visit. It is just hard because everyone seems to come later in the day, so I have all morning to spend being bored and watching stupid shows on TV. They have Lifetime here, so that is basically what I am watching until someone comes to visit.
I can honestly say that I had my first real breakdown this morning with Dr. Piecarek. I am really sick of being here and cannot truly understand why I am still here. I feel like there is not a medical reason for me to be here...my fluid is back up and Hope has been doing great on the monitors for the past 3 days. I just get the feeling that the doctors are playing CYA instead of actually practicing medicine and it is costing our insurance company a fortune. If Hope is fine, my fluid is fine, and I am feeling fine...there really is no medical justification for me to be here. I basically told the doctor that this morning, but she blew me off and basically said that if I want to leave I can...against doctors orders and that if I do that my insurance may not pay for the days that I have been here. So...I am going to talk to some of the other MFM doctors tomorrow (Dr. Peicarek is new to the practice and may not feel comfortable releasing me). I am sure it will be a 'fun' discussion!
Nothing else is really going on around here. The helicopter landing pad is right outside my window and one landed the other day when the boys were here...they loved it. It was not so great at 3am when I was sound asleep however.
Mom is taking off next week to watch the boys. Jerry is trying to save up his FMLA (which is unpaid) until after Hope is born, so I am happy mom was able to take time off to watch them. Hopefully they will not drive her totally crazy!
I will try and post some more later today...it's just not a lot is going on around here.
I am back and doing a little better than I was earlier. It was great that Rosie, Jerry, and Greg came for a visit. I know they were probably bored because it is really boring here. I am just happy to have a few distractions during the day. It keeps me away from constantly thinking about everything that could possibly happen. I have tried really hard today to stop thinking constantly and trusting that God will give me the strength I need to get through anything...but it is really hard sometimes. The thoughts just come out of nowhere and then I dwell on them because I don't have anything to distract me.
The good news for the day is that they took the IVs out of my hand. I am not sure what that means, but I am hoping they won't have to put them back in until Hope is getting ready to be born. I am also planning to talk to the doctor tomorrow to see if I can go home and just come in every day or two to have my fluid checked. I am not sure if they will go for that, but I really want to try. I am not sure what time my ultrasound is tomorrow, but I will update as soon as I find out my fluid level and whether or not I can go home.
I want to thank everyone again today for keeping me and my family in your thoughts and prayers. It means a lot to me that so many people are supporting us through this long and winding road. We appreciate everything and may not be able to express it enough.
Love to everyone...and sweet dreams!