Devasted - Aiden Passed Away

I have no idea what to write that could describe how I feel right now.  I am devasted and crying my heart out for Aiden and his mom and dad right now.  It is something that I fear every single day and I know all heart parents have the same fear.  When one of our own dies, it makes the reality that much harsher...our babies are gifts and they are very fragile.  They are miracles and every day they are with us is another day we can feel the grace of God.  But, it hurts so much to think that another angel has his wings...even though his heart is now healed and he is living in heaven.  Please keep Levy and Tracy in your thoughts and prayers.  I can't imagine the pain and heartache they are going through right now, but I know they need the healing from our prayers.

Following is a poem that Stephanie Husted wrote that describes better than I can write how I feel:

The Day I Became a Heart Mother

One day my world came crashing down,
I’ll never be the same.
They told me that my child was sick.
I thought, “am I to blame”?

I don’t think I can handle this.
I am really not that strong.
It seemed my heart was breaking.
I have loved her for so long.

I will not give up on this child.
I will listen to your advice.
I will give my child any chance.
No matter what the price.

I will learn all that I need to help my child thrive.
I’ll even use that feeding tube.
My child must survive!

Will she need a lot of therapy?
Will she gain the needed weight?
Please God, help me do this.
I will accept our fate.

When the monitors beep at night, it serves as my reminder.
How many parents would love that sound.
Tomorrow I will be kinder.

As another Angel earns his wings,
I run to my child’s bed.
I watch her sleep for quite a while.
I bend down and kiss her head.

I cry for the parents whose hearts have been broken.
I look to You wondering why?
Oh Lord, I just can’t know your ways….no matter how I try.

And yet, I trust you hold her life, and guide us through each day.
My mind says savor each moment she’s here,
but my heart begs, “PLEASE let her stay”!

From pacing the surgical waiting room, to sitting by her bed.
From wishing for a good nights sleep, to learning every med.
From wondering, “will she be alright?”, to watching her reach out her hands.
With every smile my heart just melts, despite life’s harsh demands.

For all who see that faded line.
I look to them and smile.
You see my child is loved so much.
I would face ANY trial.

That scar I trace with my finger (It’s the door to her beautiful heart).
God must have known how much I’d love her (Just as He loved her from the start).

A heart mom is always a heart mom.
Now wise beyond her years.
For those who have angels in heaven,
Our hearts share in all of your tears.

Every day I will try and remember,
I was chosen for her (and no other).
I will always embrace that beautiful day…….
When I became a “Heart Mother”.

~Stephanie Husted